Monday, January 31, 2011

How to Get Drunk Without Spending a Lot of Money

I'm sure more than a few of you wonder this little question on a daily basis, as I myself try and find the most efficient ways to do so at any chance I can get.  Over my recent finds, I discovered the most effective way to do so.  Even though I have already posted a chart describing some of the cheapest ways to get drunk (and how drunk is too drunk), this is actually from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.

So one of my favorite hobbies next to playing guitar and snorting coke off a hooker's ass, is GAMBLING!!!

I love to gamble, especially when I actually win something for a change.
Like last night, for instance, I won a total of -$17.  Not really a personal best but at least I didn't win -$170.  

So I usually like to go to the Gulf Coast with my Dad, but this time he took me and my wife to Harrah's Casino in New Orleans.  I have a special place for Harrah's in my heart because this is where I spent the greater part of my 21st birthday, but it really is a truly beautiful casino.  I wish I could show you pictures, but my hands are usually never steady enough to hold a camera in there.  Well last night, I discovered that they have implemented a new way to order drinks and cocktails from your slot machine.  Normally at every casino, you get "complimentary cocktails" because you spend so much of your potential children's college fund there.  Well at Harrah's, you can abuse this to a whole other level.

The slot machines have a small touch screen on an overhead display that shows you how many "points" you earned at that session.  These points can later be redeemed for a number of things but I won't get into that right now.  Now, you can order your drink from the Slot Machine.  This is where the abuse comes from.  The average tip for a cocktail waitress is usually dependent on how much you're winning or losing by, but most people just tip a dollar or two.  So you order a drink from your machine, and likewise order another drink from the adjacent slot machine.  Since the waitress only took one trip to deliver it, you can tip her one or two dollars and still be fair.  And you can order anything from a frozen daiquiri to scotch and water to coffee (etc).  

With this menacing method in use, you can efficiently order a glass of wine for $1 a piece and at Harrah's, the house wine is Menage a Trois Red Blend, and they do pour you a 4oz glass, just .5oz shy of a normal glass.  So an entire bottle of Menage will end up costing you about $6 in the casino (or less if you cheat or don't tip) as opposed to $9.99 retail.

The downside is you will more than likely end up gambling all of your saved money away, and YOU DO have to be playing in order to get a drink.  You could just put $5 in the penny machine and that will be good for about 500 spins.

It will get you wasted and you can truly feel like a chain-smoking, alcoholic, gambling, abusive sonofabitch who can't afford to pay child support.

I prefer not to do this method, but it could work.

I will have a more serious update later tonight on a wine from New Zealand that is absolutely Heavenly and Sinful at the same time!
Til then!
Bon Boire!


  1. That's pretty sneaky :P Unfortunately, we don't have many casinos like that in England!

  2. I tend to stay away from casinos in general because all my money suddenly disappears lol

  3. I walked away from Vegas with enough money to buy a burger in the airport, I felt like a gambling champ!

  4. I always do that when im in vegas

  5. This is a great guide for those of us on a budget!

  6. Most expensive $10 you'll ever save.

  7. Cause casinos never cost any money...

  8. damn, i pay 6 bucks for a tiny-ass rum n coke at my casino..

  9. My trip to Vegas was a blur, but I actually won money gambling that I later spent on booze. :D

  10. Buy vodka drink fast drunk blackout wake up in unfamiliar place.

    I hate getting drunk.

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